PSA: Stairs are Dangerous, but the Plates Survived

At the ripe age of 25, I’m about to drag crippled self to the doctor to get my back x-rayed. The title of this gives it away, but in case you couldn’t infer what happened, I, A-young-healthy-human-who-can-still-do-back-flips, FELL. DOWN. THE. STAIRS.

If you know Ru Paul’s Drag Race and the iconic Death Drop, I for sure looked like that going from the top of the stairs to the bottom. Add in a few flying plates and forks and a slow “nooooooo” according to my husband and that’s the scene.

Thank God my husband was home from his month long trip to save me, but like damn. I had just portrayed that I was an *awesome*capable*independent*thriving* spouse on my own, and he gets home and I become crippled.

To get into more detail, I was walking with socks on (important fact) and had plates in my hands. I took the first step down and my foot instantly slipped off and the plates went flying, as did I. The following are my thoughts during the 0.3 second fall.

“This is about to be bad… Why did I let go of the Fiestaware?! It’s flying..it’s totally going to shatter! Omg I’m going to flip forward, throw my weight back. Shit my ass, oh no my back… Why are my ears ringing? Am I paralyzed? I can’t feel my limbs… Are the plates broken?”

So yea, I laid there for a second and wiggled my toes and obviously my husband came running. Before you yell at me for not staying in place, I knew I was good for the most part, so I got up slowly and crawled down the stairs and iced on the floor.

Obviously, falling and bruising your back/tailbone doesn’t feel great, so I just went on with my life. I have been continuously icing and taking it easy, but I’ve had little to no improvements. So, last night I chatted with the awesome athletic trainer for the gym I coach at, and well I’m on the way to an x-ray appointment now.

Cross your fingers that I didn’t break my back falling down the stairs.

I mainly posted this to laugh at myself later because this is so pathetic, but to also say socks and stairs are apparently dangerous and now I have a flight fear of stairs. I will now be religiously wearing grippy socks that say “If you can read this bring me wine”

If you’re looking for great durable plates, highly recommend Fiestaware… apparently they’re stronger than my spine.

xoxo

-D