The Basics of The Basic School (TBS)

Congratulations! Your person has completed OCS! What an accomplishment. Time for reality to sink in that you now have a second lieutenant on your hands.

Next stop: The Basic School (TBS). This school is roughly six months of hiking with a nice dose of smelly feet and MRE farts. No but seriously, it’s a tough six months for them where they learn “the basics” of being a Marine Officer. From my general understanding, they learn how to be an Officer and lead, as well as what they need to do if they are ever a ground Marine (i.e. land navigation, hiking, rifle range stuff etc.).

So as a spouse, significant other, parent, *insert title here*, you’re probably wondering, “What should I know? What are the key things that will help my person succeed?” I’m here to help you, because I was in those shoes.

I write this blog, not to be a “know it all” because I definitely didn’t know it all and I still don’t. I write it because TBS was the point in his career where I knew I was a key person in his life, but I didn’t really know or understand what was going on, or how to help him succeed.

I did some googling as per usual, and still didn’t find great resources geared toward spouses (or girlfriends). I was also in nursing school an hour away, so I knew I could only be a support system from afar, like many SOs are since TBS is so short.

Here’s what really helped me understand TBS and it’s so simple, but easier said than done sometimes. I talked to him. When he would get his weekends off, or evenings to call, I’d ask him to give me a brief update of what his life was. I’d ask about what he did that day/week and ask what he was working towards. You have to remember to be patient. These officers are hiking all day or sitting in class all day and sometimes they don’t want to talk about what they did, or they can’t. You also might not get to talk every day or every weekend. Sometimes they’re in the field, sometimes cell service is shotty, and sometimes they pass out before they can even eat dinner.

As you grow with your person, you’ll learn how important communication is. Some days I would get long drawn out, detailed stories about his hikes or his class, and other times I would get very brief updates about the past week and the upcoming week. Just remember to be patient with them and teach them to be patient with you. They need to understand you’re trying to learn about their life, and for that to happen, they have to talk about what’s going on.

On that note, pick the right time to talk about their week. When they see you, they might just want to hear about your life and have a drink or get dinner. Just be mindful, you don’t need to tip toe around it, just be aware that they’re exhausted and like any normal person, sometimes we don’t want to talk about our stressful week right after we lived it. Sometimes we just want to relax and hit some golf balls or go to D.C.!

So, how can you be supportive or make life easier for them? Well, I’ve already said be patient, but also be understanding. On the weekends if you see them, they might want to go party hard, or they might want to sit and sleep and watch golf all weekend. Take note of what they did that week and what they have the upcoming week and make plans around that. If they just hiked the day before they might not want to do anything, same if they have a hard hike the upcoming week. Everyone is different. And if you get nothing out of my posts, just remember that key point.

Before he would come to visit me I would ask him, what do you need or want? It was always something different, but I knew I was helping him stay organized and that I was helping him save time by getting things he needed. The main thing my guy wanted was a stocked fridge/pantry, a home cooked meal and a nap. He was always SO HUNGRY when he came to visit. I’m sure this topic is different for everyone, especially the married officers who can live with their wives off base, and eat somewhat normally.

Speaking of wives! If you’re married before TBS it’ll be important to get your military ID card at the DEERS office. You’ll have to go with your spouse, and I’m sure there are plenty of different times when you can get this done, just know you need to get it if you want to get on base without them.

As a spouse, you can also attend a L.I.N.K.S. (Lifestyles, Insights, Networking, Knowledge, and Skills) session to introduce you to the Marine Corps. I have still not done this, but it’s because we’ve lived on Naval bases until now. Overall, the best advice I can give to SOs, specifically spouses, is to ask questions! There are tons of resources out there for you and the officers are given a lot of information, but oftentimes that info does not make it to you. This is where it’s important to know who your Family Readiness Officer (FRO)/ Family Readiness Team is.

The culminating event of TBS is finding out what their Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) is (aka job). Some officers go in already knowing, like my husband already had an air contract going into OCS/TBS. It’s an exciting time because that’s when you learn what your next step is after graduation, and it’s when hard work pays off.

As with OCS graduation, TBS graduation has a family day and a graduation day. Just remember for family day dress weather appropriate and nice casual and for graduation dress weather appropriate and like you’re going to church. I always err on the side of caution and would rather be slightly over dressed than under dressed. Also, at TBS graduation they wear their blues, so you’ll want to look nice because it’s a perfect time to take nice pictures with them!

I’m going to attach some links below this post that I found on a PDF for spouses- I would share the whole link, but it has some info that I don’t want to be responsible for sharing haha. Yes, I am slightly paranoid about operational security, that’s why I try to keep some things vague. Need to know basis right?

Anyway, always feel free to ask questions here if you have any, or ask any of the people you meet. There are also TONS of spouse and SO Facebook pages that you can join, you just have to find them. Never forget that everyone has been at the beginning at some point and at one point they had no friends and had no idea what was going on. It happens. You aren’t alone! As spouses and SOs we are all in this together. TBS was a bit ago and I’ve definitely forgotten a lot because I was in nursing school, but it was were I quickly learned the important lessons of patience, understanding, and listening.

If none of this article helped you and your person is in TBS, ask them to put you in touch with the FRO or another spouse or significant other. At least that way you’ll have a friend and then you can both wing it much like I did! Our TBS friends will be friends for life even though we are in all different areas of the world now!

Thanks for reading and teach your person to take care of their feet! Hikes are brutal to them. YOU DO NOT WANT TO SMELL TRENCH FOOT. TRUST ME.

Keep on winging it!

-D