OCS in a Nutshell

If you’re reading this you’re either:

a) a girlfriend/boyfriend, fiancé, spouse or family member who’s significant other (or son/daughter) is interested in or is pursuing OCS

*I’ll be referring to the military person in your life as ‘your person’ because it’s too difficult to try and say spouse, bf/gf, son/daughter and respect everyone’s differences while being inclusive

b) one of the aforementioned people who’s been through it, but still loves a good OCS reminder

c) someone just interested in reading about this wonderful military experience called OCS. 

For the newbies here, OCS stands for Officer Candidate School. This post will focus primarily on the United States Marine Corps OCS, but I’m sure bits and pieces of it could apply to other branches. 

As a girlfriend (at the time), I had no idea what was going on. All I was told was that it started mid September and that I would potentially hear from him on weekend 3 liberty. Liberty is when they are allowed the weekend “off”.

There’s a caveat to this though. Some candidates have to stay behind for duty/standing watch. If your person is part of the lucky group they will have either done it already, or will have a decent ‘time slot’ where they still get part of the weekend off. 

How To Prepare:

Unfortunately, you can’t really prepare. We were fortunate enough that I was living within driving distance, so I dropped him off with a group of people that were arriving together and that was it. HA jk, I had a super dramatic drive home, filled with your typical ugly crying and music blasting. 

Looking back, I wasn’t crying because I missed him already *barf*. I think I was crying for the fear of the unknown, the massive amount of pride I had in him, and because I’m slightly dramatic and needed a good cry. You’d be lying if you said your person joining the military wasn’t an emotional experience. It’s tough! You have no idea what to expect.

Advice:

Overall, my biggest piece of advice is to STAY BUSY! I had my first semester of nursing school and a bartending job to distract me and it worked out pretty well. Surround yourself with a good group of people so that you aren’t focused on what your person is doing.

I also took about 10-20 minutes a day to write to him. It helped me feel like I was talking to him, and I was able to write down important things happening in my life. 

Do I think he read all 65 letters? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But he had them if he needed a mental escape. I also am a closet romantic and love the idea of letter writing. He saved them all (because I made him) and they now sit in a scrapbook in case he ever thinks I’m not dedicated to being with him. Jokes! 

In all seriousness, the writing replaced the texting and phone calls for me. It was a good mental reset for me when I needed to put down the nursing book and relax a bit. I made sure to include positive things going on in my day, important news updates, scores to games (if they were good), and anything that came to mind. I remember in one letter I told him that the head football coach for South Carolina quit because it was huge news. Well his liberty buddy (partner) slightly freaked out because that was his alma mater…ooops! 

Overall, keep the letters positive and uplifting, and don’t disclose news that could derail their already stressful life (ie. deaths in the family, teams losing, coaches quitting…basically if it’s negative leave it out). Lastly, if you are wondering about how many stamps to put on a letter, don’t ask me because I didn’t know how to navigate the USPS system and would just put 2-3 stamps on letters that seemed “heavier”.

I’m sure you’re laughing at my stupidity, but at least my letters arrived! 

Two important things, don’t expect letters back and don’t send care packages. I got maybe two letters and they were hardly legible, but I got them and appreciated them.

On the care packages topic, it’s super tempting to want to send them things… don’t. Not only do they have everything they need, but they can get in trouble, or have the contents of the package used as ammo against them. That sounds bad, but just understand that OCS is a big long mental game. Their instructors job is to find anything they can to get inside your person’s head and challenge their mental fortitude. They’re training USMC Officers, and it’s not a title that’s just handed out, it’s earned. 

OCS Basics and What You Should Know:

OCS is 10 weeks, if your person completes it. There are a series of different ‘tests’ they have to go through and complete, and at anytime your person can drop on request (DOR) or be cut from the program. If they are cut, don’t lose hope. They can always reapply and try again in another cycle. We have a few awesome friends who had some unfortunate events and were injured or cut, but they eventually went back and now they’re very successful officers.

They get their first liberty around weekend 3. Liberty is when they are allowed “freedom” within a certain milage range. I can’t remember what the allowed distance was, but I know they were not allowed to go too far. When they are officially on the first liberty, that text/phone call knowing they’re surviving (barely) is amazing. What’s tough is you don’t know what time they will be allowed liberty, and it always changed. 

Either way, if you’re local or within a decent distance to Quantico, VA., and you want to see them/they want to see you, it’s doable. You just have to understand that you cannot make set plans. It’s also important to add, they have to go everywhere with their liberty buddy/”libo buddy”. It’s basically practicing the safety aspect that you should never go anywhere alone (SSDGM– am I right?).

We were fortunate enough, that my apartment was within the distance, and I had enough space to house them both. I set up a cute little air mattress for our new friend, stocked up the house with all types of food, and good beer. If stocking up, think more food, less alcohol. If your person is a regular/casual drinker, they are now a light weight and you do not want to send them back to OCS dehydrated or hungover. They will not be happy. A few beers/drinks is totally fine, just don’t go on a bender and remember to hydrate or die-drate! 

Another fun thing to look forward to is the pictures! There is an OCS Facebook page that links with OCS. I don’t think it was around when my husband when through it in Fall 2015, but it looks super updated now. If you aren’t a Facebook user, this page also had a lot of great OCS information and pictures. I liked the pictures, because I could see what they did that week, look for my husband, and have an idea of what the hell he’s talking about in his sleep. You think I’m joking, but the man slept like a dead person and would have conversations with his sergeant instructors. 

Expect them to sleep about 110% of the time you’re with them. That includes while they’re eating. They’re sleep pros at this point…or just incredibly sleep deprived.

If you make the trip to Quantico for liberty or for graduation, or anytime during TBS, don’t expect it to be the most exciting place on the planet. There’s a really cool little tavern/restaurant that has close ties to the base, so it has a ton of memorabilia inside of it. They also have amazing french fries, and we all know that’s important.

Anyways, Quantico, VA., has it’s cool spots like the National Museum of the Marine Corps (which is amazing), the Boyhood Home of George Washington, and there’s also really great hiking if you want to take your already exhausted person on a hike to practice land nav!

Joking aside, Virginia has some really great attractions, landmarks, and history if you have never been there before. Just keep in mind, your person may end up having a strong hatred for VA, his libo buddy does hah!

OCS Graduation

If your person ends up making it to OCS graduation, CONGRATS! What an amazing life accomplishment! 

For us, his Family Day and Graduation fell on a Monday and Tuesday, because it was Thanksgiving week. For others, I think it usually falls on a Thursday and Friday. On Family Day, you arrive with your family, and watch them run a course while saying/singing cadences. In all honesty, it was cool, but it was like negative 700 degrees and I was a popsicle ready for them to run faster and finish. I think we also listened to a little speech about OCS from the Commanding Officer (CO) and the staff. Afterwards, we ate and then he went back to the squad bay to prepare for graduation. 

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On graduation day, it was equally as cold, but it was way more meaningful day, so I packed myself full of hand and feet warmers and froze a smile on my face. Gotta be prepared! 

The morning started out on Brown Field on the parade deck. The whole company parades across the deck, and then awards are given, words are said, and then they are officially released from Brown Field. 

Quick explanation for complete newbies like I was-

• Company– “A company is a military unit, typically consisting of 80–150 soldiers and usually commanded by a major or a captain. Most companies are formed of three to six platoons, although the exact number may vary by country, unit type, and structure.”

• Platoon– “A platoon is a military unit typically composed of two or more squads/sections/patrols.” 

That’s about the extent you need to understand at the beginning. Your person will be in a platoon and for us there were six platoons, and together the six platoons were called Charlie Company. 

After being released from Brown Field, we headed over to the National Museum of the Marine Corps for graduation, but I think the graduation location has since changed due to renovations in the museum. At the graduation, someone of importance is invited to speak (for us it was a 3 star General), more words and prayers are said, they take their oath, you dramatically cry happy tears, and then you go take pictures of you pinning on your person’s butter bars and their first salute! It’s a grand ole day filled with lots of pride and tons of emotions.

As a female, if you’re concerned about what to wear like I was, be weather appropriate, and think about wearing what you would wear to a church or to a conservative grandma’s house. Jeans and flip flops/tennis shoes are a no go for pretty much any graduation/formal military thing. 

Personally, I’m always way too self conscious about what I wear to events, because I know I’m a representation of him and I never want to look trashy, lazy, or unkempt. It also never helps, that I either forget or don’t have time to buy an outfit, so I wing it and hope what I wear looks more than halfway decent. 

Overall, if your person is going into OCS and you feel like this was less than helpful, remember I’ve been through it and I just winged it. I had little to no idea what was going on, but did my best to roll with it and enjoy the memories we could make. During this time, learn to be flexible and teach your family/in-laws to be flexible and understanding of your emotions. 

The military isn’t just a thing you join and instantly figure out. It’s a constant learning cycle and everyday I feel like an idiot, but hey that’s what makes it fun! And let’s be honest, does anyone know everything about the military lifestyle? No. And if you know someone who does, send them my way and tell them to help me navigate the fun world of Tricare, because no one, not even Tricare knows what’s going on.

The only thing you really, truly, need to know when becoming part of a military family is how to be supportive and understanding and how to wing it!

Good luck and Semper Fi!

Important note- Some of this advice is timeless, but as with anything, things can change and my experiences may be very different than those of today, despite it only being 3 years later. Take my advice as a general guide and continue to seek information! It’s always good to continue learning! There are TONS of spouse/family/ Facebook pages to help guide you if you have specific questions. 🙂